Of Paper Flowers and Purple Skies
by Shinime1
Summary: Takes place after Kyoto...Hisoka awakens in the infirmary to find that everything he thought that he knew about Tsuzuki has been a lie...and he now has to learn who Tsuzuki really is...
1. 1

**Author's Note:** Well…here I am, posting my very first Yami no Matsuei fic by myself…I hope that it doesn't suck as much as I think it does…feel free to flame me, or comment, or maybe even compliment…all of them would be greatly appreciated…and I'll take into account whatever you might say in the comments…

Also, in the beginning the blah is Tsuzuki's thoughts and the blah is Hisoka's thoughts…just for reference…

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of Yami no Matsuei at all…it all belongs to Matsushita-sensei…also, the very first part up to the break is my interpretation of the Kyoto scene that takes place during the end of the Kyoto Arc…so if you don't want to spoil that part, don't read this fic. I used the translations that are supplied by theria.net , just so you know…I'm not good enough to translate this…they are, so for the best translations I have found online, go there… Yet another thing, I got the title from the Evanescence CD "Fallen"…from the song "Imaginary"…I strongly suggest that you listen to that song, it has some connections to this fic…

Of Paper Flowers and Purple Skies 

            How many people up to now have died for no reason other than they have had connections with me? Everyone died hating me. I must be a person not needed in this world -------…

            An existence that shouldn't exist.

            A small smile worked its way to Tsuzuki's face, yet did not make it to his eyes. Flames surrounded him completely.

            "I don't think I'll be forgiven, but…I'm sorry. It's better if I was gone…"

            Correct the distortion…

            Raising his hands towards the sky, Tsuzuki accepted his self appointed fate with open arms. "------burn me more, Tohda… Everything, reduce it to ashes…"

            This eternal life--

            Yet Tsuzuki's thoughts were cut short by a voice calling out to him over the roaring of the flames.

            "Tsuzuki!!! What are you doing, you idiot!! Hurry up and come here!!!"

            Tsuzuki looked up and could just barely make out the figure of a person making their way down towards him. His eyes widened.

            Hisoka…!?

            Hisoka looked down to see Tsuzuki where he was, kneeling on the ground in the midst of the self inflicted fiery hell around him, and a sense or urgency arose within the boy.

            "Can't move? Wait! I'm coming…"

            Tsuzuki could only watch in horror as Hisoka made his way closer to the intolerable flames.

            "No, go back! You'll die too!!" he cried.

            "_Stop that_! _You idiot_, are you saying that I came all of this way just to watch you die!!"

            Tsuzuki turned his gaze away from the quickly approaching form of the young boy.

            "I…just want to die now… It's enough, Hisoka-- …I've lived for far too long…" He said, looking down, a few tears escaping his eyes and falling to the floor.

            In my head there's always the feelings of regret, guilt, and sorrow, just that…

            Tsuzuki finally lifted his eyes back up to Hisoka, to show the boy that they're brimming with tears.

            "I'm…tired…"

            Hisoka looked down at Tsuzuki, and his eyes widened. In Tsuzuki's eyes, he found an emotion he had never experienced from anyone before, and it brought fear to his eyes. He felt the complete and utter desire to die. This isn't Tsuzuki…it can't be him. Tsuzuki is a completely stupid, happy, lazy idiot, not this person. It can't be Tsuzuki…but it is.

            Hisoka finally got down to the ground, and as soon as his foot touched the floor, he threw himself down at Tsuzuki, flinging his arms around him.

            Tsuzuki's tear filled eyes widened as he timidly returned Hisoka's embrace, gently putting his hands on his back. "Hisoka…"

            Hisoka clung tight to Tsuzuki, as if he let go, he would never see Tsuzuki again. He could feel Tsuzuki's tears falling on his neck, but his main concern was focusing on the man in his arms.

            "I'm not going back…!! I…don't want to be…alone…" he cried, his voice choked with tears and muffled as he buried his face in Tsuzuki's chest.

            I don't want to lose…what's important to me…

            "I decided a long time ago…that my place to return to is _here_… By your side only ----"

            Tsuzuki's eyes slowly drifted shut, tears still streaming from them, as he pulled Hisoka closer to him, putting his head down on Hisoka's shoulder.

            So now, I won't be separated from you. I won't let go of your hand a second time. The world you are going to…I will go with you as well…

            Tsuzuki…

            The two of them both sat there, in each other's arms, as the Tohda's flames slowly encroached upon them, licking at their clothes and skin before their world was enveloped by shadows and darkness.

            Not once through this entire ordeal did Hisoka let go of Tsuzuki…clinging to him for as long as he remained conscious, before blacking out, still holding on tight.

            Kurosaki Hisoka awoke with a pounding headache. The amount of worry that was floating around the room was enough to make him sick, and in fact, that's exactly what it was doing.

            Slowly, he pried his eyes open and looked around. He was in the infirmary in Meifu, that much was certain. Watari was bound to be somewhere near, and it was only a matter of time before he would bounce in to check and see how his patient was doing.

            Turning his head to the side, he made a correction in his thoughts. Patient_s_. For there was Tsuzuki, asleep in the bed beside him.

            Hisoka frowned, and tried to clear his head enough to sort through the emotions emanating from his partner.

            Pain. He knew that much. Not just physical pain, but in his heart, Tsuzuki had a deep hurt ripping him apart. Had this feeling always been there? Hisoka wasn't sure. He'd never felt any of the darker emotions from his partner that he was feeling from him now. How much have you hidden from the world, Tsuzuki…how much have you hidden from _me_…?

            Aside from that, there was a deep emptiness. As if even now, when he is unconscious, he still has emotions that are carefully guarded behind strong walls.

            "Bon! You're awake!" Watari exclaimed as he bounded into the room. "Are you alright? Is there anything I can get you? Anything I can do for you?"

            Hisoka pulled himself into a sitting position, and almost immediately regretted it, his face paling as his head pounded.

            Watari looked concerned, slowing down and calming as he reached Hisoka's bed. "Oi, is something wrong, Bon? You don't look that well…"

            Hisoka finally regained his bearings enough to reply. "Watari-san, do you have any aspirin? I have another headache…"

            Watari nodded, taking note of the dark circles under the boy's eyes, before leaving to get the aspirin that he kept in the other room. He always knew to keep some on hand, especially since the boy had been working there. Sometimes everyone's emotions were too strong for him, knocking him out, leaving him exhausted, and giving him an enormous migraine before departing from the empath's system.

            Regaining his composure, Hisoka tried to focus on something, any one of the emotions floating around his head. Pain. Tsuzuki.

            He turned to look at Tsuzuki again. Sometime during the ordeal he must have hurt his head pretty badly, because he had a bandage wrapped around his forehead. Still, that wasn't the only pain that Hisoka was feeling from him. His soul hurt…Tsuzuki was dying inside, hiding it behind a carefree demeanor and genki smile. How long had he been like this? thought Hisoka. Just for the case in Kyoto…or maybe before. The only other time he could remember Tsuzuki being like this was back before anything had really happened, after the Saagatanasu case. Or…has he always been like this…and it's just that nobody has noticed…?

            Hisoka was pulled out of his reverie by the sound of Watari's voice. "Strange, isn't it?" the scientist said quietly.

            "What is…?" Hisoka asked. Slowly he pulled his gaze off of Tsuzuki's face, only to see that Watari was looking at Tsuzuki as well.

            "That he has hidden so much from all of us…and never once have we even glimpsed the fact that he was…like this…" Watari's eyes saddened, and a feeling of regret came from him to Hisoka. Yet that attitude left as quickly as it came. "Ma…I'm being too serious, eh? In the end, everything is fine, and we can return to work as normal. Here," he said, handing Hisoka some pills and a glass of water.

            "Aa…thanks…" Hisoka said, on automatic. Everything is fine. Everything will return to normal. He really wanted to believe Watari's words, he wanted everything to be fine and normal, but everything that he could read from Tsuzuki (which wasn't much) told him otherwise. Nothing is ever that easy with Tsuzuki, he thought.

            Accepting the pills and water from Watari, he was immensely grateful for it, ever since he had woken up, his headache having gradually progressed.

            Giving the glass back to Watari, he sat back, leaning against the headboard of the bed. Watari took the glass, and set it down on a nearby table, before turning to tend to Tsuzuki.

            Carefully removing the bandage from around his head, Watari frowned at the slight trickle of blood still coming from Tsuzuki's forehead. It should have healed by now, he thought. Watching from where he sat, Hisoka reached the same thought. Or…maybe Tsuzuki wasn't letting himself heal quickly…was that even possible? He hoped not.

            "…Watari-san?" Hisoka asked timidly, not really wanting to pry, but becoming concerned for his partner. "Is…I mean…should he really still be bleeding like that? Will he be alright?"

            Watari smiled at the question, and the amount of emotion hidden deep within the normally emotionless boy's voice, and turned back to look at Hisoka.

            "Yes, bon, he'll be alright. You just wait and see…he'll be fine."

            Turning back to Tsuzuki, he carefully rebandaged his head, gently making sure that he wouldn't be waking him up, if that were even possible. Tsuzuki seemed pretty much unconscious, and that he would remain so for a while.

            Hisoka sat there for a while, his mind fading out, and his eyes seeming to keep going in and out of focus. It was obvious to him that he had been drugged. Fighting to stay conscious for just a little while longer, he forced his eyes to stay open with some difficulty, and lay back down on the bed, his efforts to stay awake failing.

            "Watari-san, you did something to that water, or those pills, didn't you?" Hisoka mumbled.

            Smiling, Watari turned back to Hisoka. Apparently his half aspirin, half sleeping pill formula had worked. "Whatever gave you that idea, bon?" he replied, smiling still.

            Hisoka mumbled something incoherently before finally losing the battle with his conscious, falling into a much needed, deep sleep.

            Watari walked over and felt the boy's forehead. It was warmer than he would like it to be. Shaking his head at both of the shinigami there, Watari quietly left the wrecked infirmary.

            And Tsuzuki slept on, oblivious to all…

**TBC**…

**Authors note again**: Well…now that you've read this far…tell me what you think…

If enough people like it, than I'll continue it…and if not, than this will just be another failure of a fanfic that I have started but never will finish…

(Murasaki: You know…you should really have a lot more confidence in your writing than you do at the moment…)

(::glares at her:: Keep quiet, you…)


	2. 2

**Author's note**: Please excuse this note to let me show my complete thanks to the following people, who were a big help in convincing me to continue with this story...you people are so nice and supportive, I only hope that I don't let you down. A big thanks to Lexa, Aishuu Shadowweaver, miZu-cHan, sotty-chan, frank, sakurakumagorou, diamond, akasha_death, ShiniJekka, Starza, Shaynie, Elle-FaTe2x1, Andrew, nekoi, aelaishia, Kia, Amy, Dorian Gray, and Inferno. And a big thanks and hug to scarlet.tennyo...just for being her, and for being my best friend.

Anyway, any reviews are a big help to my consciousness, and they really make writing my story down worth while. I love everyone that reviews me, and I am very grateful that I've gotten so many already. So hugs to everyone! ^__^ Keep it up, onegai.

**Of Paper Flowers and Purple Skies: Chapter 2:**

            Hisoka awoke again, yet decided that it was better if he just kept his eyes shut. His head didn't appear to be hurting anymore, but he didn't want to take any chances. He just lay there, and went through all the previous occurrences in his head.

            He had awoken several times before this, to a splitting headache. Watari had always been there, like clockwork, with those aspirin/sleeping pills that Hisoka was starting to rely on. After all, not only did they get rid of his headaches, but they also helped him to catch up on some much needed sleep, with little to no nightmares. He had had one nightmare though. He couldn't really remember it, but it had something to do with Kyoto and Tsuzuki.

            Tsuzuki.

            Hisoka slowly blinked open his eyes to turn to Tsuzuki. He was in the exact same position as before, and his feel had chanced very little, but it was just slightly better. That was good. Anything leading in a good direction was welcome in Hisoka's book, especially concerning Tsuzuki.

            That's strange, he thought. Usually Watari was there when he woke up. His questions were soon answered as he heard Watari's voice drifting in from the other room. 

            "I don't know what to think...nothing like this has happened before... It's the first time this has occurred..."

            "Watari-san..." drifted in another voice, tired and worn, deeper, which could only mean one person. Tatsumi. "I am very confident in your abilities as a scientist, but you really must deal with this quickly. He has to wake up _sometime._.. Can't you do anything?"

            As he was listening, Hisoka could read into Tatsumi's thoughts. Strange, though, usually he had natural walls up. He probably thought that Hisoka was asleep, and that he would be for a while. Either that, or Tatsumi's feelings were so strong that they were breaking free of his firmly held boundaries. That wouldn't be very surprising to Hisoka though. Especially after what had happened in Kyoto, you'd have to be blind not to notice the shadow master's feelings for Tsuzuki.

            "I could try to make something to wake him up, but...it won't be perfected for at least a few days..." came Watari's tired voice again. Had he done anything but watch over the two of them for the past few days? Hisoka wondered. Apparently not, by the sound of his voice.

            "Thank you...Watari-san...for all of this."

            "Hey, somebody's got to do it? Who better for that job than someone who is willing to do it, like me?" The tired smile that accompanied those words could be heard in his voice.

            "Still," Watari continued. "I think that we should keep this away from bon. He has enough to worry about as it is, it will only bring even more exhaustion unto him..."

            "Hai, I agree." Their voices appeared to be getting louder as they approached the infirmary again. "Ne, Watari-san, have you gotten any sleep at all since this all began?"

            "...no, not really," came the sheepish reply. They were almost in the room, so Hisoka quickly shut his eyes.

            "You should try to get some rest, I'll watch over them."

            "...alright." The sound of bedsprings sinking could be heard. "Just make sure that if bon needs anything, the medicine is on the table."

            "...go to sleep, Watari-san." And almost as soon as those words were out, Watari's breathing slowed, rendered unconscious by his exhaustion.

            "...Kurosaki-kun, I know that you are awake, so you can stop pretending now..." came Tatsumi's voice.

            Hisoka timidly opened his eyes to look at Tatsumi. Apparently, his voice was the only thing that let on that Tatsumi was concerned, as his outward appearance remained as stoic and self-controlled as always.

            "You heard all of it, didn't you?" he asked, sighing at both his and Watari's carelessness.

            Hisoka could just nod and confirm Tatsumi's words, as his eyelids started to droop again. It was amazing to him how much sleep he seemed to need to catch up on.

            "Don't worry, Kurosaki-kun, everything will be fine. _He'll _be fine, just be patient. Go to sleep now, you look tired."

            Hisoka gave Tatsumi an appreciative glance, before shutting his eyes and letting sleep claim him. Funny, Hisoka seemed to be completely comfortable as Tatsumi sat there watching over both of them.

            Yet Tatsumi frowned. Everything would be fine, it would just take time. Fortunately for them, that's something that shinigami possessed a lot of.

            Shaking his head slightly, Tatsumi settled down in a chair and started his silent vigil over the three sleeping forms in the infirmary.

            Hisoka awoke again, and felt disoriented from all of the sleeping. Was it day...or night? How long had he been there? Opening his eyes, he was surprised to find that his headache had almost completely disappeared.

            Glancing around, he was also surprised to see that Tatsumi wasn't there anymore. In fact, neither was Watari. Looking up at the ceiling, he felt stupid that he wanted someone there to be with him. They were probably talking to Kachou about what they had discussed before. Wait, there was someone there. Tsuzuki.

            Turning to look at Tsuzuki, he sighed. Still no real change. What if he didn't wake up? No, he would, Watari had said that he was working on a potion to do that. Still, it was strange. He hadn't really ever seen Tsuzuki sleep, and now that he has seen him like this, he won't wake up. His eyes remained shut.

            Tsuzuki's eyes. They were perhaps the only things that he couldn't force to be happy. It's true, when he was actually happy, they shone. Yet when he wasn't, they were the only things that belied his actions. Beautiful is the only way that Hisoka could describe those amethyst orbs, yet they were so much more than that. Yet would he be able to ever see them again?

            He shook his head, and pulled himself into a sitting position. He shouldn't be thinking things like that. It was far too quiet without anyone around. Even Tatsumi said a few things to you when you were with him. Hisoka needed something to occupy himself. He made a mental not to have Watari ask Gushoshin for some books to read.

            He looked up at the ceiling and was so occupied with being bored that he almost didn't notice Watari's presence approaching, looking up just before he had entered the room.

            "So, I see that you're finally awake, bon," Watari said, smiling. He seemed a lot less tired than he had been before.

            "What do you mean by 'finally', Watari-san...?" Hisoka asked cautiously, wanting Watari to answer his question.

            "You've been asleep for a few days now, bon. For a while, I thought that I'd have to make you a potion like I had to for him," he said, waving his free hand in Tsuzuki's direction. "And before you ask, yes, Tatsumi did fill me in on things."

            Hisoka could only just nod, and then turn to look at Tsuzuki again. "Ne, Watari-san, what did you make for him?"

            Watari shrugged nonchalantly. "Nothing really. Just an energy enhanced healing solution containing vitamins, specially formulated for someone who has the exact same size and DNA structure of a man like Tsuzuki..."

            Hisoka's mouth hung open for a second, before he realized that it was uncharacteristic for him to be surprised, and he looked away, blushing.

            Watari could only chuckle at that. "Like I said, bon, you were out for a while... Time enough for me to catch up on some sleep, design a formula, customize and perfect it, and then give it to Tsuzuki at the least..."

            Hisoka shook his head. For any normal scientist, the whole process would've taken a while, but this is Watari that they're talking about; he enjoyed challenges such as that one.

            "So he's already been given it...?" he asked, turning once again to look at Tsuzuki.

            "Yes, he should be waking up some time today..." Watari said, smiling at Hisoka. Shaking his head, he looked down at the books in his hand. Sometimes bon and Tsuzuki could be so hopeless...especially when it came to each other.

            They never seemed to realize what they had in each other. Tsuzuki certainly didn't...not recently anyway. Yet, somehow Watari knew that Hisoka had been perfectly clear about himself while they were down there, in the flames. If Tsuzuki completely ignored that...than he didn't know what he would do.

            Yet even the boy sometimes seemed to be clueless. Didn't he realize how much Tsuzuki cared for him? Sure, Tsuzuki was an idiot a lot of the time, but Watari had a sinking sensation that that facade was put up so that people wouldn't worry about him.

            In truth, the only person that could bring Tsuzuki up from where he had fallen into was Hisoka. He had shown that when Hisoka had been there with him in the fires. He wondered that if instead of the boy, if it had been either Tatsumi or himself, would Tsuzuki have been as agreeable to coming back? He seriously doubted it.

            Still he wondered how long it would take either of them to trust each other. Given their backgrounds growing up, which he had looked up and studied in his free time, he knew that they both were capable of trusting, they just had never been given a situation where it wouldn't end up hurting either of them in the end. No matter, though. As long as they both were shinigami, they had an eternity to build up a relationship...either that, or to shatter one...

            Watari shook himself out of his reverie, and handed Hisoka the books that he held in his hand.

            "Here. Gushoshin asked me to bring them to you. You won't be getting out of here for at least another four days, so you might as well occupy yourself with these. If you finish them, just tell me, and I'll get Gushoshin to bring another few up from the library."

            Hisoka looked down at the books in his hands. He figured that he could probably go through around two a day, so the offer for more books to read would be one he would gladly take up on.

            "Thank you, Watari-san," he said, almost immediately opening the cover of one and burying himself in it.

            "Don't mention it, bon," Watari mused, as he made his way over to the other side of the room. "Are you hungry?"

            "A little," came a muffled reply. "But it can wait, I'm not that hungry."

            Watari shook his head at the boy. His secluded early life left him to be an eternal bookworm, eating through the novels about as fast as Tsuzuki could make it through a meal.

            Hisoka was firmly enveloped with the plotline in the book, when he thought he saw a movement next to him. He looked up to ask Watari what he was doing, but Watari was still across the room in the other direction. There was only Tsuzuki. Thinking nothing of it, he went back to his book, only to see something again. Only this time his thoughts were confirmed.

            Tsuzuki was changing positions. He was waking up.

            Hisoka couldn't bring himself to think of a reaction, so he did the only thing that he could think of; he buried himself inside his book once again.

            Watari sensed that something was different, and he looked up from what he was doing to see Hisoka reading, looking slightly uncomfortable, and Tsuzuki stirring from his self induced coma.

            Striding across the room, Watari opened the blinds next to their beds, letting in the sunlight. It was actually a very beautiful day outside, to be stuck inside the infirmary.

            Tsuzuki very slowly summoned the will to wake up, finally looking up to see Watari leaning over him, sunlight haling his face, smiling down at him.

            "Yo. Finally opened your eyes, Tsuzuki?" he beamed.

**End of Chapter 2**

****

**Author's Note #2:** Well...there's chapter two. Tell me what you think, and if it's still well liked, I'll be more than happy to continue it for you, so just review. I'll just bow out now...

(Murasaki: ::claps:: Wow...you actually were almost confident in your writing...what drug have you been taking, and where can I find it?)

(::smacks her again:: I said be quiet, you...)****


	3. 3

**Author's note: my thanks to:  
  
Starza: **ah...not the spork! x_X ::hides:: anywho, here's more...keep that spork at bay xD**  
seiichi:** i'm glad that you like angst, it's one of my favorite categories**  
Katsue, LinkisMine, Gnine: **thank you for reading, please enjoy!! ^_____^**  
Fanny_chan, klyukaizer**: thank you! here you go, no more cliffhanger anymore!   
**Elle-FaTe2x1**: ah, tsuzukixhisoka...don't you love it? xD  
**aelaishia**: yay! this is my first time writing a yami fanfic on my own, so i'm never sure whether the chara's sound right or not...but thanks! ^_^  
**Sakura-chan:** well, if this made you cry, then later chapters will really get you going ^^;;  
**Lexa:** you really like it that much? o_O wow, thank you so very much! ^_^ i've never had anyone tell me that before...  
  
Thank you guys for reading, and for the people that just started it now, or those that read and didn't review or something...arigatou gozaimasu minna! ^___^  
  
For those of you that have read the translations/the manga for volume 8 of ynm, I hope I'm not boring you with the inserted translations...I just needed to make it sound like the actual story before I warp the plot... Just please bare with me, this is quite possibly the last chapter with the translations, and if not the last, then chapter 4 will have the last of then... Again, if this annoys you, I'm sorry... ::bows and shuffles off to a dark corner::  
  
**Of Paper Flowers and Purple Skies: Chapter 3**  
  


"Finally opened your eyes, Tsuzuki?" Watari beamed down at him.

Tsuzuki lay there for a moment, looking up at Watari, trying to go through the last things he remembered in his head. Muraki. Tohda. Hisoka. Still, none of it made sense, and it faded in and out a lot.

"...ah..." was the only reply that Tsuzuki could dredge up to answer Watari.

"Don't worry, Tsuzuki. This is Enmacho's health facility." Ah, so that's where he was. Yet why? He had tried so hard to make sure that everything would work...why was he still there?

Tsuzuki stared blankly at the ceiling. It had something to do with Hisoka, he knew that. Almost everything he could think of had to do with Hisoka.  
Watari, upon getting no response, is puzzled slightly. "What's this? Has he fallen back into his own subconscious world again?" he asked, turning to Hisoka.

Hisoka had been sitting there quietly, pretending to read, but he was actually reading into Tsuzuki's mind instead on the pages of the book. And yet, he was coming up to be strangely empty-handed.

Everything that he could sense from Tsuzuki told him that he was awake. It also told him that he was confused. But aside from that, everything that Hisoka knew of and associated with Tsuzuki had disappeared, as if it had never been there at all, and that was more than just a little frightening to him.

"...no... he's just confused," Hisoka managed to say, trying to focus his thoughts on more positive things. "He can't comprehend why he's here," Hisoka added, knowing that even he himself had had to think for a while before realizing exactly what had happened.

Watari felt the sudden urge to slap Tsuzuki around to try and knock some sense into him, but he realized sadly that however helpful it would be for his own anger, it would do nothing for Tsuzuki.

Walking around to the side of the bed, he waved his hands in front of Tsuzuki's eyes, trying to get his attention. "Hey, Tsuzuki... You were rescued. Look, the boy's safe too. Tatsumi used his 'shadow' and saved you."

Tsuzuki tried to pull his head into the present and succeeded to a degree.

"Tatsumi...saved...?" Why would Tatsumi do something like that...? Surely Tatsumi, out of all of them, would be the one who had let him carry out his wishes.

"You two were taken up within the 'shadow'. The shadow dimension is 100% impervious to all creatures from the living and the spirit world," came a voice from the door. Turning to look at Tatsumi, Watari wondered why he had come. He should be working, or at least that's what he always did, working from dawn to midnight, never on vacation, except for emergency. Sometimes he wondered why Tatsumi was so dedicated to his work, but then he thought about his own work as a scientist and smiled. Never mind that, he thought, and turned to the secretary, scratching his head.

"Why'd you come, Tatsumi?" he asked, honestly wanting to know why the secretary had left his office to come here now, in the middle of the day.

"Only to check up on their conditions," Tatsumi answered quickly, before Watari could suspect anything. "Watari-san, would you please hurry and present your report on this case."

Watari slumped. He should have known better than that. Even though it was obvious of the secretary's feelings towards Tsuzuki, he still always had another excuse to be near the amethyst eyed man as to not seem suspicious.  
"Right, right," he said, although his voice was far from enthusiastic. He should be celebrating the perfection of a new potion, not sitting down and writing a case report.

Tsuzuki still can't really comprehend and put everything together."--Tatsumi...that guy...? Muraki...what happened...?" he asked, sitting up.  
Watari and Tatsumi were equally shocked at this question, only the secretary's stoic demeanor keeps the worst of it at bay as he can only gape at Tsuzuki.

"Tsuzuki...That---" Watari began, yet Tatsumi abruptly cut him off.

"All matters relating to this case are currently still under investigation. I think I can tell you of the result tomorrow," he said calmly. Gently pushing Tsuzuki back to lie down, he pulled the blankets up to cover him.

"At any rate, right now...your health is what is important. Go to sleep, without thinking about anything..."

Though Tsuzuki had been asleep for a week or so, he still found himself tired again, not really having noticed the bandage on his head before now. He managed a small "un..." before falling asleep again.

Tatsumi sighed, and took his glasses off, gently polishing them with his shirt. "I was going to ask him about conclusion reports, but I doubt that that would have done anything to help him..." he said.

Watari sighed. The last thing that Tsuzuki needed now was stress.

"Please. That would only make him worse. Go back to work, you," he said, pushing Tatsumi toward the door. As soon as he had left, Watari leaned back against the closed door. That experience had been really trying on his emotions; Tsuzuki was acting so unlike himself. Watari didn't know the whole story, or really even most of it. Hisoka was the only one who really witnessed Tsuzuki in his...element, yet even he didn't know everything. Only Kanoe-kachou did, and judging by his relationship with Tsuzuki (despite the outward appearances) he wasn't about to tell anyone.

Watari shook his head, and went about his business, trying not to think about anything involving depression and his work partners.

Hisoka had been sitting there listening the whole time. The emptiness that was coming from Tsuzuki was unnerving, and he didn't know how to deal with it. Sitting back, he tried to read, but found himself unable to do so at all. So he just sat there, pretending to read, while his mind raced, yet didn't think of anything at all. He fell asleep after a while of that, with only one thought accomplished with all of that thinking.

**_Something wasn't right with Tsuzuki._**  
  
________________________________________________________________  
  


Needless to say, rumors of what had happened with the two shinigami (especially with Tsuzuki), spread like wildfires. Yet the rumors that were circulating couldn't be further from the truth. Nearly everyone there in the Shokan bureau came by in order to catch a glimpse of the poor man, although most of the time it was when he was asleep. Tatsumi trued his best to keep them away though, for not only was it annoying to both him and Watari, not to mention stressful on Tsuzuki, but it was also interfering with Hisoka's recovery process, to have all those emotions floating around. Hisoka was grateful when most of the employees listened to the secretary's threatened budget cuts.  
  
________________________________________________________________  
  


"I just heard about it, Tsuzuki-san!! That you got hurt really bad at work!!" Wakaba's voice was laced with concern.

Tsuzuki looked up from the coffee he was drinking to see her. It was strange to him, working around 70 years in an office with only coffee supplied as a drink had made him addicted...although the immense amounts of sugar that he heaped on it probably did nothing but encourage that addiction. Needless to say, he really didn't wake up until that first cup of coffee in the morning.

"Ah...Wakaba-chan," he said, acknowledging her presence in the infirmary.

"Does it hurt? Are you all right?" she spouted. He had been there for a pretty long time, she figured that he had been near death when he had first been taken back.

"Fine, I'm fine...they said that I can leave soon...maybe tomorrow." Hisoka, watching on, felt a flicker of something at these words. He knew that Tsuzuki was lying. Just because they are dismissing his from the infirmary, that didn't mean that he's fine. Physically yes, but...

He silently watched the exchange between Wakaba and Tsuzuki, before breaking in.

"What about your work?" he asked, relatively curious as to why and how Wakaba had managed to sneak by Watari to get into the infirmary.

"Oh, we just stepped out to drop by," she said with a smile. Hisoka couldn't help but notice the "we", and was beginning to think that Wakaba was becoming schizophrenic, when she called out.

"HEY THERE!!" she screamed at the door, and a shadow materialized in the window. "Come in here already, Hajime-chan!!"

And sure enough, Terazuma reluctantly came in, with a lit cigarette and all. Oh yes, Watari would definitely not be happy if he knew about that.

Hisoka continued to drift in and out of their conversation, involved in the plot of his current read, yet unconsciously keeping an eye on Tsuzuki.

"But it's good that the injury wasn't too bad," Wakaba said, suddenly serious and almost awkward. 

"Un... Sorry for worrying you..." he said quietly, and Hisoka could almost hear the strain coming from keeping his voice cheerful.

"It would have been better if you finally kicked the bucket for good," came an emotionless voice.

"HAJIME-CHAN!!!"

Hisoka could almost feel what very little happiness Tsuzuki had gained silently die out with those words. There was almost a physical pain coming from him, and Hisoka wasn't really even close to him at the moment, having gotten up and moved around a while ago. And it hurt. It hurt that Tsuzuki was sitting right there, smiling on the outside, but screaming in agony within.

"Tsuzuki...can--" began Hisoka, but he was interrupted by a new voice.

"My. How lively it is here," Gushoshin said, as he flew into the room.

"Gushoshin-chan," Wakaba chirruped.

"Hello everyone. I was wondering whether Hisoka-san had been released...I brought a book."

"Ah, thanks," Hisoka said, forcing himself to respond.

As Gushoshin was leaving, two overly genki blondes bounced into the room. Watari must've been asleep on guard or something.

"HI~SO~KA~KU~N!" they squeaked at him. "We've come all the way from snowy Hokkaido to visit you, Hisoka darling!!" Yuma said brightly.

"We've even brought a present, honey," added Saya, much to Hisoka's demise. "The newest Pink House dress!"

Tsuzuki forced a smile at their antics.

"Hi Yuma. Saya. I'm sorry that you came all this way, but would all of you mind leaving? I'm still tired, and Watari says that the more you sleep, the faster you'll get out, ne?" he said, trying to look convincing.

'It's too bad that I'm an empath and I know him,' thought Hisoka, 'or I might actually believe him...'

Wakaba blinked for a second. She was enjoying her time here; she didn't want to go back to work, but knew that she had to eventually. 'Oh well, better now than never...' she thought.

"All right, everyone should leave now," she said, ushering Yuma, Saya, and Terazuma out the door with relative ease. "We do want him to get better, now don't we?"

Having gotten them to leave, Wakaba's smile disappeared as she turned to go as well, when Tsuzuki spoke up.

"Thank you, Wakaba-chan," he said, smiling tiredly at her.

She turned and smiled back to him. "No problem," she said. Pausing for a few moments in the doorway, suspended between leaving and staying, she turned to him again.

"Feel better, Tsuzuki-san..." she said, trailing off, before leaving, shutting the infirmary door quietly behind her.

Tsuzuki sat, looking at the closed door, before lying down, turning away from Hisoka.

Hisoka, meanwhile, was deep in thought. As much as Tsuzuki tried to pretend, it would only be a matter of time before things would begin to boil down. Wakaba had noticed that something was different, it was seen in her protectiveness of him, as had Terazuma, after the comment that should've started an argument. 

It was only a matter of time before everyone in the entire office knew that he wasn't all right; everyone except for Tsuzuki.  
  
  
**End of Chapter 3  
**  
  
A.N: well, you know what to do! The only thing that is keeping this story going is the fact that people are enjoying it, so I need to know your opinion on it. So review, onegai shimasu, and tell me what you think! ::bows humbly::  
  
(murasaki: you need to get a life...)  
  
... 


	4. 4

Author's note: my thanks to… 

****

**Starza:** ::dodges the spork of doom:: yeah, sorry about the mistakes, I don't have much time to proofread it, honestly, it's a wonder that I even get it up online… ^^;

**Amy: **I'd like to think that my story was original; I hope that it's not copying the idea of some other poor fanfiction writer.

**Nini:** ah, you get that feeling about the chara's too? I can't help it, I love to have their reactions to stuff like this…I'm a sucker for drama… ^^;

**Lexa:** wow, yay! I'm loved! ::is jumped on:: geh, I'm trying to write, really I am, yet since the school year is winding down, I'm kind of forced to spend more time on that than I would like…anyway, here's the next chapter!

**Elle-FaTe2x1 and Missy-chan:** I'm glad you liked it! Here's the next chapter for you!

**Stephanie:** thank you for loving it, and yes, there will definitely be some Tsuzuki+Hisoka for you…maybe not in this chapter, but eventually…

**sherbie: **anticipation will be sustained for now, until the next cliffhanger at the end of this chapter ^^;

**sakurakumagorou:** honestly, I'm surprised with how many people like this. I'd like to think that my characters are accurately portrayed, although sometimes I worry that too much of my own personality is slowly slipping into Tsuzuki's. x_x I hope that you continue to like my ways of showing all the different chara's personalities. And here is your update, I hope that I never have to face those leprechauns or evil grasshoppers… ^-^;

**and to scarlet.tennyo:** I know you're reading this, you just never review, yet I felt compelled to post a thank you in here for you. I hope that you keep reading it!

Once again, thank you guys for reading, even the people that haven't reviewed yet. Arigato gozaimasu, minna! ^_____^

This is the chapter where finally, my own plot line starts to begin taking effect. Enjoy! 

Of Paper Flowers and Purple Skies: Chapter 4 

****

**a week or so later**

            Hisoka looked up from the paperwork, frowning. He never thought that he would think this, but it was too quiet. He usually liked relaxing, but under the circumstances, it was wearing on his nerves.

            They weren't allowed to do field work yet, even if there were a case for them to work on, so they were confined to the office to try and get through some paperwork. Yet still, that wasn't really what was getting to him.

            Tsuzuki was actually doing his portion of the paperwork, and without complaint or unnecessary threatening from Tatsumi. And he didn't talk as much. Sure, there was your occasional "Mou, Hisoka, you're so mean," but even that was starting to sound forced. Hisoka didn't like it at all.

            Tsuzuki had left for the break room an hour ago. Surely it didn't take anyone that long to get coffee, but it was Tsuzuki they were talking about, and with him, you had to learn to expect anything. Yet Hisoka was worried.

            Capping his pen, Hisoka stood up. Tsuzuki'd been gone for too long, and he couldn't take it anymore. Throwing a quick glance around their office, Hisoka left and headed towards the break room.

            Looking down at the floor, Hisoka wasn't watching where he was going, and he almost walked into Watari. Luckily, Watari had his mind on where he was going, as he caught the boy as he stumbled in surprise.

            "Whoa…slow down there, bon. Where're you going?" 'Honestly, watch where you're going. If I were anyone else, I would've run him over,' Watari thought to himself.

            Hisoka blushed quickly, pulling himself away from Watari to stand by himself.

            "I…well…" he stuttered, berating himself for not being on top of things. Looking down, he forced himself to speak. "To find Tsuzuki. He's been missing for an hour now…"

            Watari blinked at that. Tsuzuki would usually tell people where he was going. Sure, he was secretive, but he was not a person to make others worry about him. "Where was he last?" he asked, trying to help the obviously concerned boy.

            "He said that he was going to the break room to get some coffee, but…" he trailed off. 'He didn't come back after that,' he finished in his head.

            Watari's troubled expression did nothing to boost Hisoka's spirits, neither did his words.

            "I'm sorry, bon… I don't know where he is then. I just came from the break room, and he was certainly not in there, or hasn't been in the last half hour…" Seeing Hisoka's hopeless expression, he added, "but I can help you look for him, if you want."

            Watari didn't exactly know what he was doing. He had to get back to the lab to finish up the work Tatsumi kept pestering him about, but when he saw the boy's worry, he couldn't help but help. Tsuzuki had put Hisoka through a lot, yet they had so much farther to go. Nothing was easy.

            "…Thank you, Watari," Hisoka said. He hated to sound pitiful and needy, but he was worried, and it was trying just to sit back and watch his partner float away. "He won't've gone far…"

            "That's the spirit! We'll find him," Watari beamed. And at that, they headed off in search of Tsuzuki.

            Tatsumi had just finished some paperwork, and he set off on his routine check of the operations around the office building. Lately, nothing bad had been happening; Tsuzuki, for once, kept himself out of trouble, even with Terazuma, which was a feat in itself.

            The truth was, Tatsumi was beside himself. Should he really have saved Tsuzuki? There really was no good answer to that. If he had only saved Hisoka, (which would have been half impossible, since their hold on each other had been so tight), then the boy might never have learned to love anyone ever again. Yet he had saved him, and he wasn't sure how well Tsuzuki was coping with that…if at all.

            That was the problem with Tsuzuki. He never told you what was wrong, or how he had come to feel that way. He didn't really even let on that anything was wrong until it was too strong to hold back anymore. Tatsumi wished that Tsuzuki were more open about things, but then that wouldn't be the Tsuzuki that everyone 'knew'.

            Tatsumi stepped outside, to get a breath of fresh air, into the courtyard. Silently walking through the sakura groves, he could sense another's presence, but he couldn't put a face to it until he happened to look across at the benches. There sat a man with chocolate brown hair, dozing, yet with a troubled expression on his face.

            Tatsumi walked over to stand near Tsuzuki. He really didn't want to wake the man up, but he had undoubtedly taken a break from work, and lengthened it by resting. Tsuzuki needed to sleep, but now was neither the time nor the place for him to do so.

            Crouching down to Tsuzuki's level, Tatsumi reached out a hand to grip Tsuzuki's shoulder, gently shaking him. "Tsuzuki-san…wake up…"

            Sleepy amethyst eyes blinked up at him. "Tatsumi…?" he asked with a yawn, stretching before becoming remotely awake.

            "I realize that you are tired, Tsuzuki-san, but that is why one has a house and a bed…for sleeping. You aren't doing anyone any good by just sitting there, napping…" Tatsumi said, a bit exasperated.

            "I'm sorry, Tatsumi," Tsuzuki said, turning his gaze down at the ground. "I just came out here for some fresh air, I must've fallen asleep…I won't do it again, I'm just not…sleeping very well lately."

            If anything, Tsuzuki didn't want to worry the other shinigami, his coworkers. Yet he know that Tatsumi would search for a reason, and he wouldn't leave until he was satisfied, so he gave him that small bit of information as an excuse.

            Looking down at Tsuzuki, Tatsumi noticed how much older Tsuzuki looked when his eyes weren't shining brightly at you; how tired the expression on his face was, and the only slightly noticeable dark circles underneath his eyes.

            "I understand, Tsuzuki-san. The past few months have been very busy, so I can't really blame you for being tired; we all are…" he said, trailing off.

            "However, you were the only one who I caught sleeping during working hours. Try not to do that anymore, if possible." His voice was toned with slight annoyance, yet he couldn't help but soften it, as the man in front of him winced slightly.

            "Come on, Tsuzuki-san, let's get back to the office. Kurosaki-kun's probably wondering where you are, now," he said, reaching out his hand to help Tsuzuki up.

            Looking up at Tatsumi again, Tsuzuki smiled slightly. Hisoka was probably fed up with him by now, after everything he'd put him through. Taking the offered hand, Tsuzuki moved to stand next to Tatsumi.

            "You're right, he's probably getting annoyed at my lack of paperwork. …I'm sorry, Tatsumi. Let's go." Turning, Tsuzuki headed off back towards the building with Tatsumi.

            "So, what was your excuse for leaving this time?" Tatsumi asked, the almost uncomfortable silence broken by his voice.

            "I was supposed to be in the break room…" Tsuzuki answered. "To get some coffee."

            "Well, than that's where we'll go. Coffee will help you wake up, and concentrate on your paperwork."

            Tsuzuki blinked at Tatsumi's words, and then looked away, smiling again. That was Tatsumi, always looking out for him; no matter how much he screwed up, and no matter how angry Tatsumi gets at him, he'll always be there to fix the situation for him, to make up a plausible excuse for his mistakes.

            Upon reaching the break room, Tsuzuki got a mug out, and poured himself some coffee. The mug half full, he then added cream and sugar until it was almost full, moving through the actions on automatic, having done so for almost all of the time he had been working in Juohcho; which was exceeding on 80 years now.

            Taking a small sip of the coffee, he reveled in the sugar, and how much it helped him hide from the world, especially from his coworkers.

            With a sigh, Tatsumi ushered Tsuzuki to the door of the break room, before turning and leaving with the other man.

            With each searched corridor and room, Watari became more concerned, not so much for Tsuzuki, but for Hisoka. The boy, no matter if he would never admit it, was extremely attached to the violet-eyed shinigami, and to make him worry like this…

            Meanwhile, Hisoka wasn't necessarily worried anymore, he was more concerned. He couldn't figure out what was happening with Tsuzuki, nor what he would have to do to get through to the man. Tsuzuki shouldn't force himself to go through with this by himself; he should open up and trust **someone**.

            "Well, I know that this sounds stupid, but we could go back to the break room and look again. He wasn't there before, but…maybe he got sidetracked or something. Sound good, bon?" asked Watari, looking back to the boy as he closed the door to the recently searched room.

            They had worked their way around from where they met in the hallway, and the next room to search in that direction was Tsuzuki and Hisoka's shared office, which was an obvious dead end as well.

            "…Un," replied Hisoka. 'Why not?' he thought. 'We're bound to find him somewhere, why not there?'

            Looking down at the ground, both of them made their way towards the break room, not watching where they were going. Apparently, the other people walking there weren't watching where they were going either.

            A concerned Watari and a confused Hisoka multiplied by and overprotective Tatsumi and a sleepy Tsuzuki carrying the remains of what was his coffee equals something that resembles a disaster area. Luckily, Tatsumi was a little more prepared for this than the rest, and he agilely caught the falling mug as he uncharacteristically stumbled over the other three shinigami.

            Hisoka blinked open his eyes as he slowly picked himself up from his previous position of being sprawled on the floor, and found himself staring into wide, violet eyes. 'Tsuzuki…' he thought, relieved, but he couldn't bring himself to say anything.

            "Tatsumi…and Tsuzuki…" Watari said, rubbing his head as he stood up as well. Fully comprehending what he was seeing, finally he snapped.

            "Tsuzuki! Where were you?! You were gone for more than an hour, when you should've been only fifteen minutes at the **most**! You should at least say that you were going to be gone long, you nearly worried bon half to a second death!" he berated him.

            Tsuzuki was surprised at the last sentence. He could only blink and sputter at Watari's outburst, while Hisoka's blush reflex kicked in, against his will.

            "…He was with me," Tatsumi finally said, breaking the awkward silence. "I had found him in the break room, and had asked him to help me with the filing from a while back, and he agreed."

            Watari blinked, trying to maintain his composure. "That's fine, but the next time, tell someone before you go and disappear like that."

            Looking down, Tsuzuki nodded. "Hai, I'm sorry to have worried you both."

            "No problem," said Watari. "After all, it gave me an excuse to be out of my lab. But don't do it again!" he added comically.

            "Ha~ i!" answered Tsuzuki.

            Hisoka, who had been watching this whole situation, finally spoke up. "Come on, Tsuzuki, you still have a pile of paperwork that you need to finish." And with that, he headed back to their office.

            "…You really did worry bon, you know…he cares a whole lot more than you may think…" Watari said, before heading back to his experiments, paperwork, and 003.

            "…Thank you, Tatsumi," Tsuzuki said, turning back to the secretary when he was sure the others were gone. 

            Tatsumi nodded, and then watched Tsuzuki start back to his shared office.

            "Tsuzuki-san!" he called.

            "Hn?" Tsuzuki said, turning back for a second.

            "Get some rest."

            Turning, Tsuzuki headed back to the office again.          

            Tatsumi watched him leave, his gentle blue eyes slightly saddened. He could tell that Hisoka didn't believe that story at all; the amount of guilt from Tsuzuki was almost tangible.

            Watari's words came back to him as he turned and walked back to his own paperwork.

            _"You really did worry bon, you know…he cares a whole lot more than you may think."_

End of Chapter 4 

****

A.N.: there you go! As always, the reviews are what are supporting this whole think and keeping it afloat…without your support, it would be fire kindling by now. So review, onegai shimasu, and let me know what you think! ::bows::

(Murasaki: "Worried bon to a second death"…? How lame is that?)

(Me: …keep quiet, you…)


	5. 5

Author's note: my thanks to… 

****

**andie: **well…it's supposed to add to the suspense factor, I hope that didn't mean that you were bored with the story though… x_x

**yukie-chan: **wow, thank you so much! -^^- I hope that I don't disappoint!

**klyukaizer:** it's okay, just as long as you like it, I'm happy ^-^ 

**Scarlets:** ah! ::had a bad experience with lightening:: ^^; well, here is the next chapter for ya!

**sotty-emoutochan: **thanks for reading it, little sister. I'm hoping that it wasn't _incredibly_ boring for you…

**Fanny chan:** wah…arigatou! -^^-

**Elle-FaTe2x1:** of course you're going to find out…::evil grin::

**sherbie: ** glad you like it! It's my pride and joy! -^^-

**Lexa: **heh, I like the way you think. And yeah, school is a pain, but I still have to be there until the 17th, sadly.

            Many thanks to those who liked the "worried bon to a second death" line, it is muchly appreciated! ^__^

**Disclaimer:** sadly, I am poor, and have no money, so don't sue me, because Matsushita-san is the only one who has legal reign over these charas…I just get to mess with their minds…mwahaha!

            Ahem…anyway, a major turning point in this chapter. Enjoy!

Of Paper Flowers and Purple Skies: Chapter 5 

****

            Hisoka sighed. For the fourth day in a row, his partner hadn't come back on time. By the second day, Hisoka gave up going to look for him. It wasted time, and only caused more uncomfortable situations between them than usual.

            Having finished the stack of papers he needed to get done, Hisoka sat back in his chair and stretched. He didn't know what to think anymore. Capping his pen, he reached for the mug of tea sitting on his desk. Or rather, where the tea should've been, if he hadn't finished it already. Frowning, he stood up, and decided to go get some more tea.

            On the way out the door, the thought crossed him; what if Tsuzuki came back to an empty office? Hisoka, having had enough of Tsuzuki's secretive nature, snorted at that, and exited the room, heading towards the break room. Let Tsuzuki wonder where he was. He was tired of worrying about his elder partner.

            Emotion was something that didn't come from the emerald-eyed boy very easily, yet it was almost unstoppable when it came to his partner. After living his life trying to ignore how he felt (and succeeding, for the most part), to feel this much for one person was wearing him down.

            Tsuzuki was being reckless, and not like himself. And almost everyone in the office (Kanoe, Tatsumi, Watari, Wakaba, Hisoka, and even Terazuma) seemed to notice it. Everyone, that is, except for Tsuzuki himself.

            Upon reaching the room, Hisoka brought his mug over to the kettle and poured some hot water in it, before grabbing a tea bag and putting it in, wishing that there were **_real_** tea, but not questioning it, knowing JuOhCho's tight budget.

            Sighing, he started to head back to his office before stopping. He had done all the paperwork he'd planned to get done before lunch, yet there was still an hour until his lunch break rolled around. He had enough time to go to the lounge and read for a while before he had to go back to writing.

            Walking to the lounge, he picked a nice, big, comforting and inviting sofa in the middle of the room, glancing around timidly before picking up a random book and sitting down to read it.

            It wasn't long, though, before a rather rambunctious blonde scientist broke his silent atmosphere.

            "Bon! I didn't think anyone would be in here…usually it's only me, when I can pull myself away from the lab…" he said, almost rambling.

            "Hello, Watari-san," Hisoka said, jumping at the sound of the man's voice. "I was just…reading here, because the paperwork is finished. I'm sorry if I invaded your space or something; I could leave if you want me to…"

            "No! This is a place for all of us, and besides, you are actually good company, Hisoka, despite what you may think."

            That comment caused the boy to blush slightly, but he kept his composure as he subtly hid his blush behind the mug of tea. 

            Meanwhile, unbeknownst to the two, a certain shinigami awoke from his light nap in the armchair facing the window…the opposite direction of the door and the couch.

            "So, bon, how are you doing?" Watari asked casually, not wanting to intrude but feeling the need to ask anyway.

            "Well, since we're not on case anymore, there's only this paperwork, which is kind of monotonous, but—"

            "No, that's not what I asked," interrupted Watari. "How are **_you_**, bon?"

            Hisoka seemed startled at that question, and for a few moments, he could do nothing but gape at Watari. No one ever asked him things like that, no one but Tsuzuki anyway.

            "I—I'm…" he stuttered. 'Calm down, Hisoka, this is Watari. Talk to him, he's concerned,' he thought to himself. "I guess that I'm all right. I could be better. It's just…emotions here lately have been running high, and it's just…tiring…I guess."

            "I know what you mean," said Watari. "Not in the same sense, but you don't have to be empathic to feel the tenseness in the air. What with Tsuzuki back like he is and all…"

            Back…? For a second, Hisoka blinked at Watari. What did he mean? "Back, Watari-san…?" he asked quietly.

            Watari regarded him for a second. "You are the newest shinigami, so I guess that means I'll have to explain this to you. You see, right around when Tatsumi was Tsuzuki's partner, Tsuzuki had the same problem. He couldn't take the fact that he continued to live while he killed others. You know Tsuzuki, he just…is almost too caring for this job…" Watari said, trailing off.

            It took Hisoka a few moments to process this. It had happened before? How…why? He still didn't understand, and he knew that Watari wasn't going to tell him all that he knew.

            "Demo…he's powerful. Everyone loves him. Why does he feel like this?" asked Hisoka, trying to set things straight in his mind.

            "It's **_because _**everyone loves him, that's why. Don't you see, bon, it's because you saved him."

            "He's tired, he's not eating, forcing himself to pretend to be happy, and not taking care of himself. It hurts, Watari-san. He won't even let me know what's wrong…I thought he trusted me," Hisoka said, looking down.

            "He does trust you, bon, more than any of us. But that still doesn't mean that he'll let you in on anything. Hell, even I had to do a cast amount of hacking into the database before I found out all the details about him, and I'm not some beginner hacker!" he exclaimed.

            "He'll get better, though, bon. He always does. He has his up's and down's, yet he's always come out shining in the end."

            "No he hasn't! He still is hurt by all of those cases, he hasn't forgiven himself about that Sagaatanasu case no matter what I say! He's just getting worse!" Hisoka said, obviously becoming distraught.

            With those words, Watari saw something in Hisoka that made him obviously believe him. He could **_see _**the pain in his eyes as he had said those words.

            "But bon…he'll be fine…"

            "No! He's not getting better! He's not going to get better! He's not fine at all!" Hisoka said, trying hard to keep the tears in his voice out of his eyes.

            Tsuzuki couldn't take it anymore. Slowly, he got up out of the chair, and turned to face Watari and Hisoka.

            Watari was surprised at that, to say the least. "Tsu—Tsuzuki!" he gasped.

            "Why are you guys so concerned? Honestly, I'm fine…" he said slowly, trying to hold as much emotion in as he could.

            "Ha! Don't make me laugh! You're not 'fine' at all, everyone can see that!" Hisoka exclaimed, trying his hardest to keep the tears of frustration in.

            "But…I am fine…-"

            "Stop! Just stop!" Hisoka yelled. "Tsuzuki, when's the last time you smiled. Not just forced, when's the last time you were truly happy? Or the last time you ate a full meal? Or the last time you slept the whole night?" he asked, his voice beginning to crack.

            "What are you talking about? This morning I—"

            "No, Tsuzuki…stop lying to me! God damn it, Tsuzuki, I can't stand it when you lie! I can feel at least some of what you're feeling, I'm not totally oblivious, you know! And what I can feel, it hurts…you're not fine. God damn it, Tsuzuki, you're not fine at all!!" he screamed, his voice breaking on the last words as the previously held tears finally escaped from their floodgates and filled his eyes, trailing down his cheeks to quickly form tracks.

            Watari, who had previously been watching on, could only gawk. This was an argument that had been brewing for some time between the two, and to interfere would only make things worse than they already were. He could just watch on helplessly as they tore each other apart.

            Tsuzuki took a few steps backward, horrified at what Hisoka had said. "N—no… I'm not lying… Y—you don't understand… You don't understand!! How could you…?  I--…" He took another step back, shaking his head, tears coming to his eyes as well. "…No…" he said again quietly, although his voice was flat and devoid of his usual vibrant emotion.

            Watari watched helplessly as Hisoka and Tsuzuki progressed on their own little paths toward hysterics, and he was about to interfere, when the door opened and he was met with surprised cerulean blue eyes.

            Tatsumi, once again, was on a routine check of the building between paperwork. Of course, recently that translated to "go find Tsuzuki and get him to go back to Kurosaki-kun", which was starting to get to him.

            Walking down the hallway, he could almost **_feel _**the tension in the air long before he heard the yelling and screaming. Approaching the room, he identified the voices to be those of Tsuzuki's, and his partner's. Ah, well…at least when Tsuzuki was upset with _Kurosaki-kun_, the building wouldn't be badly damaged…

            He was about to walk past the room, when a thought struck him. **_Tsuzuki _**upset with **_Kurosaki-kun_**? Tsuzuki **_yelling _**and **_screaming _**at the boy? No, something was definitely wrong there. Without hesitating, he opened the door to meet the scene before his eyes.

            Tsuzuki glanced up at Tatsumi, the tears running down his face. Tatsumi…he'd be the one to save him, to dig him out like he always did. Hisoka, meanwhile, was doing little but sobbing at this point, as the walls that Tsuzuki usually had up were basically gone, and his fears of what might actually be in Tsuzuki came true with each new, painful emotion to come.

            Tsuzuki stumbled towards Tatsumi, what little grace he had before being gone now.

            "Tatsumi…tell them they're lying…and I'm not. Tell them that I'm fine, Tatsumi. **_Tell them that I'm fine_**," Tsuzuki said, taking hold of the front of Tatsumi's suit jacket.

            Tatsumi held his ground admirably. He didn't ever want to see Tsuzuki cry, but this had gone on far too long. Glancing down, away from Tsuzuki, he replied to him.

            "I can not lie to them for you forever, Tsuzuki-san. There are only so many times when you are actually 'fine'," Tatsumi said, his cold blue eyes devoid of the pain that he felt.

            "…No…" Tsuzuki said. "…No…No! No!!" He stepped back, shaking. "Oh god, this isn't happening, it isn't…nononono…" His breathing got heavier and heavier, and it became evident that he was hyperventilating.

            "Tsuzuki-san, calm down," Tatsumi said coolly. "Don't worry, we're here. We know that you aren't 'fine', but—"

            "That's just it! God, you know, of all people, **_you_** know. Isn't that what you people are always saying? 'Tsuzuki, you're such an idiot, I don't know how I put up with you.' God, if you really hate me, just tell me! None of you cared before, why should you care now?!" he yelled, his beautiful amethyst eyes filling yet again with tears, his breath growing more unsteady by the minute.

            Tatsumi didn't know how to take that. For the first time in his life, he was lost for words.

            Taking Tatsumi's silence to be acceptance, Tsuzuki continued. "…You really don't ever care at all, do you? 'Oops, another shinigami down the drain', that's all you look at! Why won't you all just leave me alone…why can't you all…just…leave me…" And with that, Tsuzuki Asato passed out.

            Luckily enough for him, Tatsumi had been standing nearby and was fast enough to catch him. Tatsumi gently picked the amethyst-eyed man up, and brushed a piece of hair out of his face. Tsuzuki was surprisingly light, or at least more so than a man of his size should be. Tatsumi frowned at that.

            "Watari-san," Tatsumi said, snapping the said blonde scientist out of a daze. "I'm taking Tsuzuki-san over to the infirmary, will you see what you can do for Kurosaki-kun?" And without waiting for an answer, he left.

            Watari turned to Hisoka, who had shrunken to the floor sometime during the ordeal. The boy was sobbing as if he had had his heart ripped out, and Watari knew that nothing he could do would ease the pain of the truth of emotions. Yet he gathered the sobbing boy into his arms, and held him anyway. 

            ''None of you cared before, why should you care now'? Tsuzuki, have you really lost your faith in us? In your **_partner_**? 

            'He cares more than you think,' echoed through his mind as he sat on the floor of the lounge, cradling the broken heart of a broken boy in his arms.

End of Chapter 5 

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Wow…I think that's the first time I've ever been completely happy with my writing…I hope you all liked this chapter as much as I did. ^-^

Remember to review, as your comments are the only thing that is keeping this going! Tell me what you think! I'll try to get the next chapter up quicker, if enough of you review soon…


	6. 6

**Author's Note:** My personal thanks to…

**yukie-chan:** I know…I tend to kind of push Hisoka a little…but I can't help it. ^^; Sorry, 'soka-chan!

**klyukaizer:** Ahem, correction. I tend to pick on them both. What can I say, I like shinigami angst. ^^;

**kurai:** why, thank you. ^-^

**Lexa:** Well, that's probably because I'm crazy as well. ^_~ And I do enjoy their suffering, it's what makes a good plot better. And about that happy ending…I'll think about it. Can't give you any guarantees though. ::is evil::

**Joni Quest:** ah, the fun part. Well, sorry it took so long, but it's here now… ^^;

**sotty-chan:** yes, the angst category is not a lie. ^^;

**Nini:** wai! Another sucker/fangirl for Hisoka Pain! XD; thanks for liking it! 

**Yanagi-sen,  shadowgal, yukie_chan:** well, here's your update. Read and enjoy! ^-^

**Miname:** Yes, that was the point that I was trying to get across. If you just wanted nothing more than to die, you can't snap out of it just like that. More writing is here. 

**Selah:** That's good. If there's one thing that I can't stand, it's a writer's block. I have all these ideas, but then they never seem to flow right. That's partially the reason for this delay in chapter update. ::looks sheepish:: Anywho, enjoy!

**MYA!:** erm…it's continued… ^^; ::is frightened of that old man::

**Frank:** well, here you go, the next chapter. I probably wouldn't have finished it if it hadn't been for your answering that question of mine. So please stop shaking me, and read the next chapter. ^^;

            I am absolutely SO sorry for not having this chapter done sooner. There was a lot on my mind, and with all of these things for school and work going on. Although, ironically, I did finish this at work, but that's beside the point… ::bows:: Thanks to all the support though, that was what kept me going. I'll try not to be this late in updates again, but I still need your support! Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** Sadly, I am poor, and I havu no mahney, so don't sue me. ^^; Matsushita-sensei is the only one who has legal reign over these charas…I just get to mess with their minds…mwahaha!

Of Paper Flowers and Purple Skies: Chapter 6 

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            Tatsumi carefully carried Tsuzuki into the infirmary and set him down on a bed, pulling the sheets up to his chin to see that he didn't get cold. Tsuzuki needed rest, and this was the result that he got after neglecting himself like that.

            Tatsumi pulled up a chair next to Tsuzuki's bed, and thought about the best way to handle this. The situation in the office can only get worse, since Tsuzuki was steadily going downhill, not up. And he seriously doubted that Hisoka could withstand any more confrontations of this sort. Just from what he'd seen, the boy obviously cared about the shinigami, and was willing to throw everything aside just so that Tsuzuki could be happy with him.

            Keeping the two of them in the office would be a bad idea, he could see that immediately. As for what to have them do, they would have to sort things out on their own if they wanted to have anything fixed. 

            Looking at Tsuzuki's face, Tatsumi saw a tired expression there, one full of pain and wisdom, hardened and sad, so unlike the genki man that had been there before.

            Tatsumi wanted to take all of that away from him, to let him rest and be content at last. He wanted to be there to comfort and cherish the life that the man before him had hidden inside. He just wanted Tsuzuki.

            Reaching out a hand, Tatsumi brushed a few strands of chocolate brown hair out of Tsuzuki's eyes, before moving his hand to caress the silky smooth skin of Tsuzuki's face. Perfect, everything about him, even now, through all of this. Tatsumi's eyes traveled to linger on Tsuzuki's lips, pink, contrasting his currently pale complexion drastically. Just for once, Tatsumi's logic was overwhelmed with his desire towards the man in front of him. Just once, Tatsumi wanted to feel those soft lips on his, even if Tsuzuki never knew. It was almost better that way.

            Leaning forward over Tsuzuki, Tatsumi hesitated. He felt guilty that he could only have the courage during a situation such as this one. Closing his eyes, Tatsumi brought his face towards Tsuzuki's, until their lips were inches apart. Just this once…just this once…

            Tatsumi's desires were shattered as the infirmary door could be heard, bringing him to his senses and snapping him up, away from Tsuzuki. From behind the door emerged Watari, carrying a smaller, hiccupping and very tired Hisoka.

            Watari nodded to Tatsumi, seeing Tsuzuki in the bed before walking to the one next to it. Laying Hisoka down, he almost had to literally pry Hisoka's hands from around his neck. Large, almost child-like tired green eyes blinked wearily at him.

            Hisoka felt drained. The lack of shields around Tsuzuki nearly knocked him out right then and there. Watari had been the one to calm him down, telling him things he couldn't remember, but had seemed important and helpful at the time, and in his current state, he needed a firm hold on comfort.

            Watari could see that in Hisoka's expression immediately after he let go of the boy. "Don't worry," he reassured him, "I'll be right here, so will Tatsumi. It's all right, bon, you need some rest. We'll stay right here."

            Hisoka's bleary gaze shifted from Watari to Tatsumi, before he nodded slightly, and obediently shut his eyes. Almost immediately after Hisoka's slight fear of being left alone subsided, he fell into a deep sleep.

            Watari regarded the sleeping boy for a few seconds, before he pulled up a chair between the beds, next to Tatsumi's, and collapsed in it, sighing deeply.

            "Watari-san, I would like an explanation of all of what just happened, if you please…" Tatsumi inquired, after a few moments of leaving Watari to his thoughts.

            In a very brief description, Watari explained that they had been discussing Tsuzuki, not knowing that he was in the room, so naturally, he was upset. Eventually, Tsuzuki's emotions made Hisoka upset too, and shortly after was when Tatsumi had entered.

            Nodding slightly, Tatsumi thought into the situation. It was bound to have happened sometime, so he wasn't exactly surprised. Yet he still had to find a solution to this.

            There wasn't a definite one. This had been boiling for a long time, but he had never actually thought that it would, so a solution wasn't easy to find.

            "We have to do something…" he said, voicing his thoughts. But what? It was almost too personal for Tsuzuki. They couldn't just flat out give him advice, or ask him to tell them what was wrong. And trusting him to tell them on his own was beyond questioning. You had to be close to Tsuzuki for that. **Very **close**. **But who was that?

            After a few moments thought, the answer hit him. Why hadn't he thought of it sooner? The one who knows Tsuzuki the best is Hisoka. Not because they've known each other for a long time, or because they were both easygoing spirits, or because he knew about his past.

            It's because he cared. Because he was the one who saved him from the flames of Kyoto, not in the physical sense, but mentally, he did give him a reason to live for. That didn't mean that Tsuzuki wanted to live, or even knew what to do with himself. It just meant that he had a reason, and ironically, that reason kept him alive, and would _probably_ save him from himself.

            Yet it was all up to Hisoka. He had to agree to help, and without his help, they were right where they started, if not worse off.

            Tatsumi was broken out of his thoughts as Tsuzuki shifted restlessly. By the looks of it, Tsuzuki hadn't really slept at all, wearing himself out until he passed out, and only then did he rest. It also looked like he would wake up soon, but he needed to stay asleep.

            "Tsuzuki doesn't look that good…" Watari observed, as if reading Tatsumi's thoughts. It was true, now that Tsuzuki's shining eyes and ever-present smile weren't there, Watari could point out the dark circles under his eyes. It was a wonder that he had hidden that much from them, or was it just that they didn't notice…?

            "…Watari-san…do you think that you could give him something to keep him asleep for a little longer. It'd be better for him, as well as the fact that I want to speak with Kurosaki-kun before Tsuzuki wakes up, and Kurosaki himself…" he trailed off, motioning to the sleeping boy in the bed next to them.

            Watari nodded. "I'm sure that I have just the right thing for him. It'll keep him here at least until tonight, which should give you plenty of time."

            "Good," Tatsumi said, standing up. "I'll be in my office then. When Kurosaki-kun wakes up and is feeling better, tell him that I want to speak with him." And with that, Tatsumi left the infirmary, to go beck to his paperwork, almost as if nothing had happened, and his routine check was uneventful.

            Hisoka blinked his eyes open to find that he was in the infirmary again, as he recognized the pattern on the tiles of the ceiling from before. Turning, he saw Tsuzuki, who was sleeping like a rock in the bed next to him. Somehow, that seemed totally unnatural to him.

            "Don't worry about him, he'll be out for a while," Watari said, surprising the boy out of his drowsy reverie. "How are you feeling, bon?" he asked.

            Hisoka shifted to look at Watari, sitting in the chair between their beds. He vaguely remembered being carried there by Watari, and a promise of staying right there. Obviously, Watari kept his promises.

            Sitting up slowly, Hisoka checked to see if he was all right. He didn't have a headache like he normally would've, but that would be Watari's doing. "I'm all right," he concluded, after making sure.

            "Good. Then Tatsumi wants to talk to you. He should be in his office, if you feel up to it at the moment…" Watari said, slowly getting up from the chair.

            Hisoka slowly stood up as well. What did Tatsumi want to seem him for? Did he want to reprimand him for the situation earlier, and his poor handling of his empathy? Did he want an explanation for it all? Hisoka didn't want to appear weak, therefore he gave his answer. "I'm going to see Tatsumi-san then…"

            And with that, he walked out the door.

            Tatsumi, like he had said, was sitting in his office, doing paperwork. Since he was the only one to usually be in his office, he had removed his jacket, and loosened his tie a fraction, but not so much as he appeared unprofessional.

            Looking around his office, most people wouldn't be that surprised. The room reflected the person who worked there. Neat file cabinets, a stiff, brown wooden desk with piles on it, not a single paper out of pile, pens and pencils in strategically placed mugs around the desktop. In the corner of the office, there stood a small plant in a pottery, reaching around three feet, carefully trimmed and watered. Behind the door, there was a coat stand, where his suit jacket was hanging from. It was all stiff, organized, and professional. It was all Tatsumi.

            Upon hearing a timid knock on the doorframe (as he had left the door open) he didn't even have to look up to know whom it was. Hisoka. He didn't have to look up to know why he was there. Because he had asked for him. And he needn't look up to know one more thing, that the thought of a one on one talk with himself was making the boy tremble.

            "Come in, Kurosaki-kun," he said, gesturing to a chair across from his desk, before capping his pen and putting the paperwork away, to finally bring his gaze up to the boy.

            Hisoka timidly stepped into the office, shutting the door behind him. He could tell that Tatsumi meant business when he asked _him_ to come there. When he asked anyone, as a matter of fact. Tatsumi was just a business type of person.

            "You wanted to see me…" hisoka said, awkwardly sitting down in the chair. There was something in the way that Tatsumi was _so_ professional, it made him uncomfortable. It almost felt that if he messed up even once, not only was he probing that he was too young to do this work, but it also gave the other workers a reason to make fun of him.

            "You can probably guess what I wanted to talk to you about," Tatsumi said, causing Hisoka's stomach to do somersaults. For a second, he was seriously worried about his job. It was true that Tsuzuki had done far worse, but it was also true that Tsuzuki had special connections with Enma, which were kept under tight wraps. Hisoka nodded slightly.

            "I want to make a proposition with you. About Tsuzuki-san." Whatever Hisoka had been expecting, it hadn't been that.

            "A…proposition about Tsuzuki…?" he asked, almost surprised. Tatsumi nodded, confirming Hisoka's question. But why? What could _he_ possible do for Tsuzuki?

            "I want you to help me…help everyone. Let's just get down to it. You, and everyone really, know that Tsuzuki-san hasn't been himself lately. You warned Watari-san and I that he might not be the same, and you were right. If he continues on like this, not only is he a distraction to the workers in this office, a stall in the paperwork and work in general, but he's also a danger to himself."

            "Excuse me for saying so, Tatsumi-san, but all of this has been evident, as you've said. I don't know where you're aiming with this…" Hisoka said, an obviously curious expression playing across his features.

            Tatsumi paused at this. He had to think of the best possible way to get this across to the boy. Any wrong step, and this whole situation could blow up.

            "Fine then. What I'm saying is that we need a way to get Tsuzuki back to himself, or rather, a way to get him to open up to at least one person. So he has some rational thought, and he isn't acting upon whim. We need someone to keep him in check, know his every thought, his every emotion," he added, eyeing Hisoka very seriously.

            "…You're asking me to try to do that…aren't you. Asking _me_ to try and get _him_ to open up. It's impossible, Tatsumi-san, I can't help you."

            "Yes you can, Kurosaki-kun. He trusts you the most out of all of us—"

            "Why? He's known you for longer, why can't _you_ try and get him to tell you what's wrong with him?" Hisoka inquired.

            "Kurosaki-kun, as I've told you before, you are the only one for him. You told me before that the next time you would be the one there to comfort him. Well, now's your chance." Tatsumi looked at Hisoka, an almost pleading look in his eyes. He would try to help Tsuzuki if he didn't know that his efforts would be to no avail.

            Hisoka completely ignored the expression. "How can I be the only one for him? He doesn't trust me anymore than he trusts you, how are you sure he feels otherwise?"

            "Kurosaki-kun, who was the one to rescue him from those fires? Not physically, but making him want to come back to sanity? It certainly wasn't me," Tatsumi said tiredly.

            "I might have gotten him back, but I certainly haven't rescued him from himself! Tatsumi-san, he still hates himself, now more than ever! It hurts just being near him and knowing that he feels differently than what he appears to! I can't handle his emotions, don't you see!? I can't save him! Even if I'm the only one who might be able to, I can't do it!" Hisoka was obviously frustrated.

            Tatsumi put his head in his hands. He had hoped that it wouldn't have to come to this, but he had no other choice.

            "Hisoka…" he said, using his first name to be clear he was deadly serious. "If you don't at least _try_, than he'll remain this…he'll continue to sink further into depression…"

            Hisoka's expression remained stubborn, but tears came to his eyes. "_I can't do it_," he said flatly.

            Tatsumi's voice became deadly monotonous. "If he can't continue the duties of a shinigami, than he'll be fired. Don't you see? If he doesn't recover, than he'll be gone…indefinitely. No longer will he be here…no longer will he be _anywhere._ _The Tsuzuki that we **both** know and love will be erased **completely**_," he finished, a stray tear running down his face, his emotionless mask slipping. "Please, Hisoka…_please_…"

End of Chapter 6 

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**_Author's note:_** De, de? What'd you think? Tell me honestly; is this an all right chapter to follow what I had before? Honestly, I'm not sure. x_x;; The plot line that I had planned before seems boring now, and I'm making some drastic changes to it. I hope that you all will like it, but I guess that I'll have to wait and see…

Anyway, please review! That's what keeps this whole thing going, after all!


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